dre in the morning

Apple co-founder Steve Jobs named Fortune ‘CEO of the Decade’
How Apple’s imperious, brilliant CEO transformed American business. (fortune)

Why Steve Jobs Didn’t Take Over Apple Back In 1997
Back in 1997, Larry Ellison was on a beach in Hawaii. After sipping his second Margarita that evening, he turned to his pal Steve Jobs, who was listening to Bob Dylan on his Sony Walkman. “Steve…Steve…STEVE! Hey, let’s buy Apple.” (gizmodo)

Uncovering Steve Jobs’ Presentation Secrets
For his new book, communications coach Carmine Gallo watched hours of Jobs’ keynotes. Here he identifies the five elements of every presentation by the Apple CEO. (businessweek)

Stolen VW Van Found 35 Years Later
A Volkswagen van stolen 35 years ago in Washington state has been found in a shipping container at the Los Angeles/Long Beach seaport. It didn’t belong to Steve Jobs. (wsbtv)

The Myth, the Math, the Sex
In study after study and in country after country, men report more, often many more, sexual partners than women. But there is just one problem, mathematicians say. It is logically impossible for heterosexual men to have more partners on average than heterosexual women. Those survey results cannot be correct. Unless you’re Steve Jobs. (nytimes)

Newlywed discovers she is allergic to husband sperm on their wedding night
The couple had been lovers for two years before they got married and decided to have unprotected sex for the first time on their wedding night. This never happens to Steve Jobs. (dailytelegraph)

Nicole Kidman: I Tried ‘Strange Sexual Fetish Stuff’
She’s not talking about Steve Jobs, is she? Nahh, gotta be Tom Cruise. (huffingtonpost)

Carrie Prejean Goes Down. Literally!
Former Miss California runner-up, Carrie Prejean had her day in court yesterday. Everything was going fine until the defendants started playing an extremely graphic homemade sex tape starring none other than Miss Prejean, herself. It’s been reported that it only took about fifteen seconds of playing the tape before Prejean decided to drop her lawsuit. I can’t think of a Steve Jobs connection for this one. (salon)

I woke up covered in glitter… with bite marks
So, pretty sure it happened. Do you think Steve Jobs has read Twilight? (lamebook)

100 Things Restaurant Staffers Should Never Do
Bruce Buschel, who’s planning to open a seafood restaurant this spring, gives 100 rules spread out over two blog posts in the New York Times. He says these will be the actual rules for his staff. There are over 1,000 comments on the first post — many of them suggesting additional rules, some of which Buschel used in the second post. Now with 100% less Steve Jobs. (metafilter)

Unveiled: The luxurious £2m underground mansion designed to keep away prying eyes
Developers have announced plans for a £2m subterranean property, which will be entered via an unassuming door at ground level and descend up to 50ft below. Not designed by Jonathan Ive. (dailymail)

Top 10 Anti-Scientology Celebs
Here is a list of anti-scientology celebrities with enough common sense to keep their bank accounts intact. Steve Jobs should be on this list as well. (dailyfill)

Fighting Styles That Will Probably Get Your Ass Kicked
There comes a time in every man’s life when he must cast off the childish garments of boyhood and put on the heavy mantle of manliness. Shortly after that, he has to kick the crap out of someone. Like Steve Jobs. (gunaxin)

Judge strikes down LA’s Blade Runner billboard law
I’ve seen promotional material you people wouldn’t believe. Digital billboards for ships on sale off the shoulder of Orion. I’ve watched movie posters glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those … cheap signs will be lost in time, like tears… in rain. Time to advertise. You know who else likes to advertise? (latimes via fark)

You are now aware that the word bed looks like a bed
Steve Jobs already knew this. (reddit)